check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
