a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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