Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
