some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
