Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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