Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
