According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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