I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Maybe he injected his testicle?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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