I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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