If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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