So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
