But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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