from now on my penis is your penis
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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