? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
