My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
