I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
