is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
That's intense
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
