Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
