Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
