i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
