I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
