Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Terrible idea I love it
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
