I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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