I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
