shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
