we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
