when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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