That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
