Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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