I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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