just tell him i said nine months
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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