Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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