I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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