Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
