I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Randomize
