i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
