I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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