I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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