"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
