everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
