well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
