you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
