Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
