i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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