Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
