dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
