eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize