i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize