i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
