Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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