please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
