my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Boobs speak an international language.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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