Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
