You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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