I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
