My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize