am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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