I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
