i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
