I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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