All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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