Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
