I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Can you bring me the toilet please
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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