Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize