Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
